I grew up on fairytales, that was probably my first information about magick, and possibly how the world works. There’s a category of fairy tales where a man “wins” a magickal bride by seeing a swan, or selkie, and stealing her skin so she cannot change back into the animal. He marries her, and generally they have children, but one day she finds her skin and leaves. He proves his love by going through travels & hardships to find her again, and wins her back.

This tale is problematic to modern view in many ways. First, he “falls in love” because of her looks. Worse, he’s spying on her and her sisters while she’s bathing; and he ‘selects’ her, apparently randomly, because she’s the one whose skin he managed to steal.
The story suggests that it’s a happy marriage, but the first thing she does is leave as soon as she has the ability to do so. (In Europa’s Fairy Book, her daughter finds it while playing hide and seek.) When the husband finally tracks her down, the only way he can tell which of the swan maidens is his wife is because when he touches their hands; hers has become rough from the sewing, and housework she’s been doing. He gets to reclaim her because he can identify her through the glamor of identical beauty. We assume that she must be willing or she wouldn’t go back with him.

If we can get past these somewhat alarming sexist underpinnings, is there something we can learn from this tale? Swan maidens represent beauty, grace and power (a swan is huge and can break an arm with a blow from its wing), but they also connect the realms or elements of air and water. The man longs for connection to these realms, but stealing the connection does not give him claim to it. He must leave his home and go through hardships and actively seek, and earn that connection. Once he has earned it, he is able to claim that connection.

The swan maiden herself has been changed by her prolonged life on earth, she has been marked by living in the human world. If we seek to connect to the elements of air and water, we must be willing to invest energy and time and make sacrifices to achieve that goal. (I wonder who’s watching the kids?) We also must be able to see past the beauty and the glamour and recognize what the real value of achieving this connection is. I haven’t read every version of this fairy tale. When the swan maid was living with the hero of the tale, was there an advantage to him? Did he have more luck in the hunt or in other aspects of his life because of his swan wife? Was she able to share any of her sky/ water magick with him to help their lives? What, other than calluses and offspring, did she gain from her time on earth?

Swan maidens are often associated with valkeries, or fyljia, the personified essence of luck or fate of a hero in the shape of a woman or animal. In some cases seeing your fyljia is good luck, in others an indication of doom. As a valkerie, it would act in a protective capacity. In either the form of a woman or animal, it may help guide you between the spirit world and ours. This folk tale may refer to encounters with these other aspects of guides and helpers.